Lily doesnt know who to love
by SpotsOnYourNose
Summary: I know, this is waaaaaaay different from my usual fics. Its a Lily/ Sirius fic as opposed to James/Lily. WHATS WRONG WITH ME!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!!
1. Default Chapter

Sirius and James looked at Lily Evans. They both loved her, but wasnt sure which one she loved.Sirius, the more forward of the two, had asked Lily out and was still awaiting her answer.  
  
One day, Lily was sitting in the library by herself. Everyone else was at a quidditch game. He walked over to her. "Hi Lily." He said, smiling at her. "Hello Sirius." She said looking up from her book. He sat down on the table. "Whats up?" He asked. "Oh, nothing really." She answered.He nodded and looked around the library. Then, feeling very confident he jumped up on the table. Lily looked up at him. "What are you doing?" She asked. Sirius didnt answer. He pointed at her and smiled. "Lily, this ones for you." He said. From no where, several girls came and sat down around the table. Sirius took a deep breath then started singing. "Its tearing up my heart when Im with you. And when we are apart I feel it too. And no matter what I do I feel the paaaaiiiin..." He paused, trying to remember the next line. Lily was blushing deep red. He put his hand down. "Dance with me." He suggested. Lily looked at his hand. "I...I dont..." He pulled her up onto the table anyways. She looked around nervously, then Sirius poked her in the arm. She smiled at him and started dancing with him. James walked past the library and heard applause. He stopped and looked inside and saw Sirius standing on a table. He took a step inside, and saw Lily standing next to him, holding his hand.James cringed, listening to Lily laughing...with Sirius.He turned away. "Hey James!" Lily yelled, waving. James turned and waved weakly.  
  
A week later, Sirius and Lily started going out. One night, James was sitting in the common room, working on some homework. He glanced around the common room and felt sick. Sirius and Lily were sitting on a couch in a corner snogging. He glared at them. "Why dont you two get a room?" He yelled. They jumped and broke apart. Lily was deep red and Sirius glared at James. "Cause we were here first!" He yelled back. "I dont need to know that." James said, scowling. "Chill out James." Lily said.James looked at her. "Fine I'll leave. You two can go back to snogging now." James said bitterly, then went to his dorms. Lily blinked. "Whats his deal?"She asked. Sirius shrugged and kissed her again.  
  
The next morning, when James came out of the kitchen, Sirius and Lily were asleep on the couch. He shook his head and walked past.  
  
About ten minutes after James started eating breakfast, Sirius and Lily walked in. Lily was laughing and Sirius was telling her something. James bit his lip and looked away. The two sat down across from James, who started thinking up a reason to leave.Lily was still laughing, but not as loud. "Yo James." Sirius said, putting some bacon on his plate. "Hello."James grumbled. Lily was already eating. She finished her goblet of orange juice and waited for it to refill, stuffing some toast into her mouth. "Hungry are you?" Sirius asked. Lily laughed, choking on her food. Sirius patted her back and she took a drink. "In answer to your question: yes. And DONT MAKE ME LAUGH WHILE IM EATING!" Lily said, a little louder than she meant. Sirius hugged her. "Im sorry."He said, giving her a puppy-dog face. Lily smiled. "Thats ok."She said, kissing him on the cheek. James stood up and left quickly.  
  
Later that day, Sirius walked into the GCR and sat down next to James. "Yo."He said. "Hi."James looked around."Wheres your tag along?" He asked. "Who?" "Lily."James said, flinching slightly. Sirius smiled. "In the library studying." Sirius answered simply. James looked down at his book.  
  
Meanwile in the library, Lily was working on an essay for Potions. A hufflepuff girl walked up to her. "So...Evans...your Sirius' flavor of the week?" She asked. Lily ignored her. The girl snatched her report away. "HEY!" Lily yelled. The librarian glared at her. "Listen to someone when they talk to you." The hufflepuff hissed. Lily glared at her and left the library, snatching her report back. Lily pushed the door open and was tackled. She screamed and hit the floor on her knees. Sirius had his arms around her shoulders. She laughed. He hugged her, keeping his arms around her shoulders. WHen he finally let her go, they both stood up and Sirius kissed Lily. James watched all of this,arms folded, leaning against the door to the Boys Dorms. When Sirius and Lily finally broke apart, Sirius slid his arm around her waist and they walked over to two corner chairs and sat down. James walked into the Boys Dorms.James lay on his bed, thinking about Lily. How would he ever tell her how he felt? What did she see in Sirius? Was it how he was a rebel?No, Lily didnt like rebels. He rolled over and closed his eyes. He heard crashing from the common room and ran out of the dorms. Sirius had a prefect by the collar, pushed against a wall. Lily was yelling at him to put him down. James raised an eyebrow. "Sirius! Put him down!" Lily screamed, pulling Sirius's arm. James smiled. "Yo Paddy...lay off the prefect."James said walking over. Sirius was breathing hard and looked at James. "Fine." He growled and dropped the prefect. "Sirius, you dont have to do that everytime a prefect tells me that Im slacking off."Lily said, giggling. "Nobody insults my girl and gets away with it."Sirius said, putting his arm on her shoulder. Lily smiled. James flinched, and turned to walk away. As he was leaving he heard Sirius and Lily chatting."So we still on for Saturday at Hogsmede?"Sirius asked. "Yes."Lily answered. James felt jealousy surge through his body. He clentched his fists.'Well, your too late, Sirius got her first.' He thought, then decided right there to stop worrying about her.  
  
That night, James shot awake. He shook his head. "Now its getting out of hand."He said, rubbing his forehead. James dream- Lily stood on the Astrology tower in long white dress robes. James stepped into the moonlight and looked at the back of her head.She turned and smiled at him. He continued towards her, and kissed her forehead. "Harry...hes ok. Dumbledor wrote me."She said. James was confused. Who was Harry?  
  
James sighed and decided he couldnt sleep, so he grabbed his invisability cloak. He made sure he was covered, and walked out of the dorms. As he walked across the common room he heard something and looked around. A large figure was on the couch. He walked forward and squinted. His eyes widened. Lily was sitting on Sirius' lap crying into his shoulder. "Shhhh...its ok."Sirius wispered once in a while. James frowned. Lily's muffled sobs seemed to echo in his mind. "Its my fault....its all my fault."Lily said,followed by a sob. "No its not."Sirius said. James was confused. This was not the Sirius or the Lily that he knew. He turned and ran out of the common room. "They were killed because of what I am."Lily said, after James had left.Neither of them knew that James had heard them. "Now thats not true."Sirius said, turning her face to his. Even in the dark, he could still see her eyes.  
  
James snuck back into the common room about twenty minutes later and saw Sirius standing up. He had Lily in his arms, she was asleep.James pulled the cloak off and pretended like he had just come in. "Sirius, what are you doing awake?"He asked. "I could ask you the same."Sirius responded, turning to him. James' eyes flicked to Lily, then back to Sirius, who noticed this. "Dont ask. Its none of your buisness."He said, turning to carry Lily up to her dormitory. "You won."James said. Sirius turned around. "You think this is a game? That Lily is a prize to be won? Well James Potter, you are wrong. Its not a game and Lily is not a prize."He snapped, then continued up to the Girls Dorms.  
  
The next morning, Lily didnt talk to anyone except Sirius. The two were pretty much unseperable. James ended up being partners with Remus for Potions, which didnt go very well.  
  
Sirius and Lily, Remus and James and Severus and Lucius were working on their potions, when Snape knocked into Lily when she was cutting something and Lily got the measurement off. Sirius glared at Severus, who backed away, laughing. Lily started over, with new ingredients. After Potions is where it got bad. As Lily was leaving with Sirius, Severus shut the door in her face. Sirius pushed the door open and walked up to Severus. "Well, hello Irish git." Severus said, smirking. Sirius punched him in the face. Severus covered his nose with his hands. Lily put a hand on Sirius' shoulder. "DONT YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN!"Sirius barked. "Do what?" Severus asked. Sirius took Lilys hand and pulled her down the hall.  
  
"Sirius, whats wrong?" She asked. Sirius continued storming down the hall, pulling Lily behind him."Sirius..."She stopped. He turned to her. "If he ever does that a-" "Does what?"Lily put a hand on his cheek. "Nevermind."He said, kissing her forehead.Severus ran up to them. "Your gonna pay for that Black."He hissed. "Sure I am."Sirius snapped. Lily pulled out her wand and fixed Snapes' nose. Sirius and Lily then walked away. 


	2. Chapter 2 not named, sorry

At dinner, the story of Sirius punching Snape had changed so much, that it sounded like Snape had tried to kiss Lily and Sirius punched him. When they heard this version, Lily quickly corrected it. As the two were leaving, someone bumped into Lily. "Sorry Lily."James appologized, helping her stand up. "My bad."She said, smiling. Then, Sirius and her continued walking.  
  
Later in the common room, Lily was doing her homework. The Marauders were off playing a prank. Lily wrote very fast, wanting to be done before the guys got back.She measured her essay and smiled. It had to be at least 2 feet long and hers was 2 and a half feet. She rolled up the parchment and put it away. Looking around, she saw that she had achieved her goal. The guys werent back and she was done. She layed back on the couch and stretched. Slightly tired, she looked at her watch. She'd obviously fallen asleep, because she woke up later when she felt someones breathing on her cheek. Lily opened her eyes and saw Sirius kneeled next to her. His face was right over hers and she was slightly surprised. She smiled and kissed him. He put his arms around her shoulders and lowered his head even more.Lily put her arms around his neck. James watched them from the door and sighed. He'd never get Lily now. Finally unable to stand watching anymore, James walked up to the his dorms. When the two finally broke apart,they were both breathless. Lily smiled at Sirius, and she was blushing slightly. Sirius brushed some of her hair off her face. " I love you." Lily said after about five minutes. "I love you too." Sirius said, smiling. Of all the girls he had ever been with, none of them had told him that she loved him and meant it. To hear it from Lily made him happier than he had ever been. Sirius stared into her eyes. He loved her eyes. He lowered his head again and kissed her.  
  
That weekend was when the students who were leaving for christmas would leave. Lily was in her dormitory packing, when Sirius walked in. Lily was the only girl in there so it didnt matter. He walked up behind her and put his arms around her waist, kissing her neck. She giggled and turned her head, kissing him. "How long are you going to be gone?" Sirius asked. "Probably 3 or 4 days." "GACK!!!!!!M GONNA MISS YOU SO MUCH!"Sirius said, sitting on her bed next to her trunk. "I know."Lily said simply, folding up her uniform and putting into her pile of clothes. She looked at Sirius, who was watching her. "Sorry, I have to go, my mum is sick and my dad needs my help."She explained. Sirius nodded.After packing, she sat down next to him. "I got permission to go on the train ride with you."He said, holding up a note, signed by McGonagle and Dumbledor. Lily smiled. "Good." She said, leaning her head on his shoulder. He put an arm around her shoulder and kissed the top of her head."Im worried abuot my mum, shes really really sick."Lily admitted. "If shes anything like you, she'll be fine." Sirius said reassuringly. Lily smiled.  
  
That morning, Lily carried her trunk out of the Girls Dorms. After getting down to the common room she looked around. Sirius ran out of the Boys Dorms. "Oh thank god...I didnt sleep too late."He said, walking up to her. Lily giggled. "I'll take your trunk."He said, picking it up. "Ok, thanks."She said, smiling. They walked out of the common room, towards the entrance hall.  
  
"Lily Evans?"McGonagle asked. "Right here professor!" Lily said, waving as she walked with Sirius down the steps. Dumbledor frowned. He knew something they didnt, and he knew they wouldnt like it. He looked away. "But it is Fate."He muttered. "Hello professor Dumbledor!" Lily said, walking past to the train. Dumbledor smiled and waved. "Fate is so cruel." He said, sighing.  
  
On the train, Lily and Sirius got their own compartment. Lily stared out the window and Sirius watched her. When the announcement was made that the train would be arriving in an hour, Sirius took Lilys hand and pulled her over to him. She looked at her hand in his. He tilted her chin up and kissed her.Lily leaned against the wall and Sirius went with her. He got his arms between her back and the wall and continued to kiss her. Severus Snape, who was also going home for the holidays walked by their compartment and sneered. He pushed the door open and the two broke apart. "Snape?"Lily asked. "Buzz off."Sirius snapped. "Wonder how Potters going to take this."Snape said, a cruel smile crossing his face. "James wont care."Sirius said, sitting up. "Oh but he will."Severus said, the smile growing larger. "Are you going to spit it out, or do I have to blast you out?" Lily asked, pulling out her wand. "Down Evans...chill...I thought you knew." He said, putting his hands in his pocket. "Leave."Sirius hissed. "No."Snape said, leaning against the wall. "Leave now."Sirius said, pulling out his own wand. "You cant make me, Im aloud."Severus said, chuckling slightly. "We have our rights to privacy."Sirius said, standing and pointing his wand at Severus' face, "Dont you mean your rights to making out?" Severus asked. Sirius glared at him and Severus was suddenly blasted out of the compartment. Sirius blinked and turned to Lily, who had her wand out. Sirius smiled and sat back down next to her. "Where were we?" He asked. "Right about here."Lily said, pulling him back to her and kissing him.She layed back and Sirius went too again. Lily giggled and Sirius stopped kissing her. "Whats so funny?" He asked. "Nothing, I just remembered back in our third year, when we had that food fight and when Severus drenched me in pumpkin juice, you broke a bowl of dutch pudding on his head. He had to go to the hospital wing and we both got detention."Lily, said, still giggling.Sirius smiled. "Leave it to you to remember something like that."He said. Lily nodded.The train pulled to a sudden stop and the two of them fell off the seat with a loud thud. Lily laughed. "You ok?" She asked, getting off Sirius, who she had landed on. "Im fine."He said, sitting up. They stood up and left the compartment, then exited the train. Sirius carried Lily's trunk and when they found her dad and her sister, Lilys dad looked at Sirius. "Whos this Lily?" He asked. "Oh, this is Sirius Black."She answered. Sirius took Lilys hand and kissed it. "I better get back on the train."He said, frowning slightly. Lily's dad understood that Sirius was her boyfriend. "You could come stay with us if youd like."He said. Lily looked at him. "No, Lily told me her mother was sick, I dont want to be any more trouble." Sirius said politely. "No no, its ok, shes getting better, you can come if you want. Anything so Lily is happy."Lilys father said, holding up a hand. "Are you sure its ok?"Sirius asked. Lilys dad nodded. "Ok...um..I have to go back toget my things though."He remembered. "Actually, Mr. Black you dont, Lilys father called wrote us ahead of time and asked that your trunk be brought along."McGonagle said, walking up with a house elf who had Sirius's trunk. Sirius smiled and took the trunk. "Thanks." He said, a wide grin on his face. 


	3. Staying with Lily

When they finally got to Lilys house, Sirius carried both his and Lily's trunk inside.This greatly impressed Lily's father. "You can stay in the guest room next to Lily's."He said, and Lily showed him to it. "Im in the room next to yours."Lily said, smiling. "How convinent."Sirius said, also smiling. "Lily, Petunia and I are taking your mother to the docter, we should be gone a couple hours, would you mind making dinner?" Lilys dad said, poking his head into the room. "Not at all."Lily said. "Ok, were going to pick something up to eat, so just make whatever you want."He yelled, walking down the hall. Sirius look Lilys hand. "I didnt know you cooked."He said. Lily giggled. "I do."She said.They heard the front door open, then shut. Lily walked over to a window and looked out of it."Theyre gone." She said, turning around. Sirius wasnt anywhere in sight. Lily walked around the room, trying to find him.As she reached for the doorknob, to see if he had left to go look around, Sirius picked her up. She laughed and put and arm around his neck. He carried her downstairs and put her down in the kitchen. "So,what do you want me to make?" She asked, opening the fridge. "It doesnt matter to me."He said, sitting on a stool. "Ok."Lily said."Hmm...have you ever had homemade pizza?"She asked. Sirius shook his head. "Nope.Always had delivery when I was little."He said.  
  
An hour later, they were sitting on Lily's back porch eating pizza and drinking butterbeer. "This is really good."He said, after eating two peices. "Glad you like it."She said, standing up. "I'll be right back."She said, taking his plate inside and putting them into the sink. She walked back out onto the porch and when she went to walk past him to her chair, he pulled her onto his lap. She leaned her head against his chest and he played with her hair. "I really like it here." Sirius said. "Its better with you here."Lily answered. Sirius smiled at her. "Flattery is your best point." He said. Lily giggled. "But its the truth."She said, putting an arm around his neck and hugging him. He put his head on hers. For a moment, Lily felt the world stop and all that mattered was her and Sirius.  
  
That night, Sirius sat awake, looking out his window. He couldnt sleep, and wondered if Lily was. He walked over to his door and pulled it open. Lily was standing there in her nightgown. "Hi."She said, stepping into the room. "Couldnt sleep?"Sirius asked. "No."Lily answered."You?" "Nope." There was a silence. "I had a dream."Lily said, after a while. "Oh..."Sirius said, as more of a question. "Yes...but it was weird...I didnt like it." Lily said, looking at the floor. "Then you dont have to tell me, you dont have to resee it."He said, sitting on his bed. He patted the bed next to him and Lily sat down.She put her hands in her lap and looked at the window. Sirius looked down at her. It was right then that he realised how much smaller she was than him. She was so small and petite, but he was tall and the most well built of the Marauders. He put an arm around her. She looked up at him and smiled slightly. The moon moved out from behind a cloud and flooded the room. Sirius found this rather romantic, since the moonlight made her skin almost glow. "I miss Hogwarts already."She said, trying to get him to talk, but he just nodded. "Are you going to say anything?"She asked,finding the silence annoying. "Sorry, its just...nevermind."He said, looking at the floor. "Well, I suppose I should go to bed now."She said, standing up. "Ok, g'night."Sirius said, watching her walk towards the door. "Night."She said, then left.  
  
As Lily snuck back to her room, her dad walked up the stairs. "Lily? What are you doing awake?"He asked. "I...I couldnt sleep."She said. "Where did you go?" He said, continueing up the stairs. "Sirius' room."She answered. "Your 16 and your already..." "NO!"Lily said quickly. "Lilian, I can not belive you. Your sister would never..." "Daddy, I didnt do anything! We just talked!"Lily said, surprised at what her dad was thinking. "Do not lie to me."He hissed. "Im not, I wouldnt."She said, inching towards her room. "I let your boyfriend come stay with us and you go and sleep with him!?!"He bellowed. "Daddy, We didnt do anything!"Lily repeated. "He better not touch you again."He snapped, then walked into his room. Lily leaned against a wall, and felt hot tears sliding down her cheeks.  
  
The next morning, when Lilys dad went to wake her up, her room was empty. Her trunk was gone and so was she. He ran to Sirius' room and saw that Sirius and his trunk were gone as well. He growled and figured they had probably gone back to Hogwarts. He was right, Lily and Sirius sat on the Hogwarts Express at 6:30 that morning. Both of them were half asleep, waiting for the train to get to Hogwarts. "So tell me again, why did we leave at 3:00 in the morning?"Sirius asked. "My dad thinks that we...."Lily trailed off. "HE DOES?!?!"Sirius roared. Lily nodded. Sirius frowned. "I told him that all we did was talk....he didnt believe me."Lily added. "But....but.....but....we...dont....weve never...." "I know.Hes just stubborn."  
  
They walked into the common room and headed for their dorms. As Lily walked across the room, James walked over to her. "Can I talk to you?" He asked.Lily nodded. "Sure, just let me unpack."She said, then walked into her dorms. James went and sat down in the common room. Ten minutes later, Lily came out and walked over to him.She sat down in the chair across from him. "I..dont really know how to put this, I mean, your my best friends girl...but..."James trailed off. "I had a dream over christmas holidays..."Lily suddenly blurted. "Oh?"James asked, glad to have a reason not to talk. "Yeah...umm...there was you, me and a little baby. And...there was also Lord Voldemort. He...he killed you and me, but he couldnt kill the baby..."Lily paused. James blinked. "So what were you gonna say?" She asked. "Um...I...think that...Im...inlovewithyou."He blurted. Lily looked slightly surprised. "Ok...but Im with Sirius..."She said. James nodded sadly. "I know."He said, sighing. Sirius then walked over. "Whats up?"He asked, sitting on Lily. "GACK! SIRIUS GET OFF!"She yelled. "Oops..hehe...sorry Lil's."He said, laughing and standing up. Lily folded her arms. "Do you not realise that I am about half the size and weight that you are?"Lily asked.Sirius smiled. "I do actually know that."He said. Lily opened a book and began reading. "NO! NOT THE BOOKS!"SIrius said, lunging at her and yanking the book out of her hand. Lily jumped. "What?"She asked, frowning. "THE BOOKS PLAGUE YOUR MIND! DONT THEY JAMES!"Sirius and Lily looked at James, who was sneaking away. "Yup they do."He said, turning. "No they dont." Lily said, reaching for the book. Sirius stood up and held it above her head. Lily jumped up and tried to get it. Sirius laughed at her worthless attempts. Lily stopped and poked him in the ribs. He flinched and she grabbed the book,but his grip was too tight. "Oh come on!"She said, trying to pull the book from his hand. Sirius smiled and handed the book to her. She put it in her bag. "There, see, not reading."She said, holding up her hands.Sirius grabbed her arms and pulled her towards him. He held her against him, staring into her eyes.  
  
The next year, the Marauders last year at Hogwarts---- Lily, Sirius, Remus and James all sat in a compartment.Lily and Sirius were sitting next to each other hand in hand. The four of them talked about quidditch, Lily not saying much since she didnt know much about quidditch. A person with a camera walked in. "E..excuse me...would you mind if I took a picture?"He asked, holding up the camera. They stood up and Sirius put an arm around Lily, James stood next to Remus. The picture was snapped and Sirius kissed Lily right after the flash. James and Remus asked for a copy of it, and Remus said that Lily and Sirius would want one too. The photographer took a picture of Lily and Sirius and nodded.  
  
After the opening feast, Lily went to her dormitory. The rest of the gryffindors were too excited to sleep. Sirius looked up at the dormitory and frowned. He stood up and knocked on the door. Lily opened it and looked at him. "Why arent you in the common room?"He asked. "Im kinda tired, so I figured I go to bed early."She said. Sirius noticed her face was slightly pale. "Are you sick?"He asked. "No...Im just tired."She said. "Do you want to talk?"He asked. "Uhh..sure. Come on in."She stepped aside and Sirius went in. They sat on her bed in silence for a few minutes. Sirius looked down at Lily, a slight frown on his face. "Is something wrong Lil's?"He asked. Lily looked up at him. "No."She answered. Sirius put an arm around her. "You can tell me, its ok." He said reassuringly. "Theres nothing to tell, I promise."She said. Sirius sighed. "Ok...but just know, you can tell me anything.I wont tell anyone else."He said, standing. "No.Dont go...please...just stay with me."She said, pulling his sleeve.Sirius sat down next to her again."Thank you."She said and leaned her head on his shoulder. He put his arms around her and hugged her.She sighed and stared strait ahead. "If somethings wrong, and you dont feel like telling me, at least give me a hint."Sirius said. "Why would anything be wrong?" She asked. "Because your not your usual self."He said. She looked up at him. "Remember when my parents were away..and...you came over and..."She trailed off. "Its about that?"He asked. "Yes."She answered. "Your not.....are you?"He asked. "No, at least, I dont think so."She answered. "You do realise, that I wouldnt leave, even if you were..." "I know. Im just...scared that someone will find out and....."Lily trailed off. Sirius felt really stupid. He didnt have anything to say, and he couldnt do anything. "No one will find out. No one but us know about it."He said, hoping to make her feel better. Lily nodded and they were silent again. After a while, Sirius looked down at Lily. She was asleep. He layed her down and brushed his lips across her cheek, then left the dormitory. Sirius sat in the common room, staring blankly into the fire. He realised how stupid of a thing he had done. He never should have went over to Lilys house. He shouldnt have done what he did.  
  
A couple weeks later. Lily sat on her bed in the Girls Dorms, her knees hugged to her chin. Sirius walked in slowly. She looked up and smiled, but the smile didnt reach her eyes. He walked over and sat down next to her.Lily bit her bottom lip. "Whats wrong?" Sirius asked. "I...I think....."Lily couldnt say it. She felt tears forming in her eyes. "You are...arent you?"He asked, feeling scared. "I think so." Lily choked. Sirius looked at the ceiling. "Im sorry...I really am."He said. "It....its not your fault."She said, looking at him. "Yes it is, I shouldnt have visited you."He said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Its ok, I still love you...its just...what am I going to say to McGonagle? Im Head Girl now....what kind of role model will I be now?" She asked. "I am so sorry."Sirius said, hugging her. "I dont know if I can handle it though."She thought outloud. "What will you dad say?"Sirius asked. "He'll probably never want to see me again, but my mother will understand that it was an accident."She answered. "I want you to know...Im not going to run off...like in most cases." Sirius said, watching her. "I hoped." "Well, I would never." "Good." ____________________________________________________________________________ _ I know...I know....you people are probably like. "WTF?!?! I THOUGH ELFY WAS A JAMES/LILY WRITER!" But I have a reason, I had really bad writers block one night, so I started typing, and I get this story. *waits for flamez* Well, the next chapter is all a flashback that Sirius has. ~~~Elfy~~~ 


	4. Sirius has a flashback

***Sirius's flashback*** Sirius and Lily had just finished dinner and she was cleaning up. Sirius hopped off the stool he was sitting on and walked up behind her. He put his arms around her waist and kissed her neck. She continued to wash the dishes. He waited for her to be done. When she finished, she dried her hands on a towel and turned to face him. "What would you like to do now?" She asked. "I dont know."He said, sitting back down on the stool. Lily walked over and stood in front of him, putting her arms around his neck.Then, she sat on his lap. He put his hands on her waist and she kissed him. The phone rang, but Lily didnt bother answering it. The message recorder turned on and her fathers voice was being recorded. "Lily, I know your home...pick up the phone. I just wanted to tell you, that your mother, Petunia and I will be at the hospital for a few days with your mother. Um..thats all, be home in a few days, bye." The phone was hung up, but neither Lily or Sirius heard it. Sirius slid his hands under Lilys shirt and ran up and down her bare back. Lily pulled back. "No..we cant."She said, breathlessly. She stood up and walked into the living room, leaving Sirius in the kitchen. Sirius sighed. 'What was I thinking?' He cursed himself mentally, then went into the living room. Lily was sitting on the couch, staring into the flames of the fire she had obviously started. Her hands were folded in her lap. Sirius walked over and stood behind her. "Im sorry."He said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Its ok...but, do you realise what we almost did?"She asked, turning and looking at him. "Yes, and like I said, Im sorry." He repeated. Lily pulled Sirius into sitting next to her. "I just...dont think were ready for that yet."She said, twining her fingers in his. Sirius was silent. "I'm gonna go for a walk."He said, standing up. "Ok...I need to make a quick phone call." She said, also standing. Sirius took his jacket from a chair and pulled it on. He kissed her cheek and then walked towards the door. Lily waited for him to leave then seized the phone. She dialed one of her best muggle friend's phone number. "hello?" "Kate, its me, Lily, anyways, you know Sirius? My boyfriend." "Yo Lils, and yeah, what about him?" "Well...today we were in the kitchen and I kissed him and we almost..." Lily trailed off. "Ok...you stopped him right?" "Yes, but...for a minute there...I actually wanted him to go through with it." "You did?" "Yeah! I didnt want him to stop...i...its like...I dont know..." "I understand. Well, try avoiding him-" "I dont want to avoid him. I love him." "I understand that too Lily, but it could be for your own good.You dont want to get pregnant." "I know! But I will never avoid him." "Ok, well I have to go, call me if anything else happens." "'kay. Bye." The two hung up at the same time. Lily leaned against a wall. She sighed and crossed her arms. 'Do I really want him to do that?' 'Would I be ok...with his child?' Lily shook her head. It was simple, she would stick to kissing only.No further than that. 'But...I love him and...I want to stay with him...maybe, if we were careful...' Lily smacked the palm of her hand against her forehead. Sirius walked back in. She looked up at him and smiled. He took his coat off and hung it back up. "I was thinking."He said, pausing when he saw how she was standing."And I know that posture and can tell you were too...you go first."He said, sitting in a chair. "I....I...I was thinking that maybe....maybe if..." "We were careful then it would be ok."Sirius finished it for her. Lily nodded, blushing. Sirius reached out and took her hand, and pulled her to him.She found herself lowering into his lap and kissing him.She sat stradled over his legs and started undoing the buttons on his shirt, while kissing him. Sirius, reached up and unbuttoned her blouse.She pressed herself against him, practically melting into his arms. "Remember, we have to be careful."She reminded him, while he pulled his shirt off his arms and she took hers off as well. "I know."He said, wrapping his arms around her bare waist. 'This is ok,' Lily thought.'Afterall, I am 18 now..and we are going to be careful.' She nodded to herself and let her heart get her through this. ____________________________________________________________________________ __ HAHAHA! Sorry people, but Im not gonna go any further than that! Lets just say that Sirius and Lily *fake cough*...ya know.... anyways, TO THE NEXT CHAPTER! ~~~Elfy~~~ 


	5. Maybe not

Sirius woke up from his flashback and looked around. No wonder he had had that flashback, He was in Lily bed, with her, but they had only fallen asleep. He rubbed his forehead and remembered exactly what had happened. He and Lily were talking and they layed down and fell asleep...thats it. He sighed and stood up. Lily opened her eyes and watched him. She sighed and he looked down at her. "Morning Lil."He said. "Morning Siri."She said, stretching and sitting up. He picked her up and she giggled."How can you be so awake?"She asked. "Im not, I just want you to think I am."He said, smiling. Lily punched him playfully on the shoulder. Sirius smiled and looked at her eyes. "God, I love you." He said. Lily blushed. "I love you too."She answered and pressed her lips to his. When they pulled back , he put her down and he went downstairs, while she got dressed and brushed her hair. James walked over to Sirius. "Hey Sirius." He said, sitting down. "Hi James."Sirius answered, looking at him. "So..whats up?"James asked. "Nothing really."He answered."You?" "Nothing." "Ok." The small talk began irritating Sirius. He figited slightly and looked up at the girls dorms, hoping Lily would be done soon. "So umm...hows it been going with you and Lily?"James asked, following his gaze. "Why?" "Just because."James shrugged. "Fine." Sirius answered. 'Psshht..fine...yeah right...' He thought to himself. James nodded. "Ok."James said, looking at a window. Lily walked out of the Girls Dorms and both of them looked at her. Sirius smiled at her and she returned the smile. James waved slightly and her eyes flicked to him, then back to Sirius. She walked down the stairs and sat next to Sirius. "Morning."All three of them said at once. Lily smiled at this. James looked at his watch. "I have to go, early quidditch meeting,"He said, standing. "Bye."Lily and Sirius said at the same time. Lily giggled. James nodded and walked off. An owl flew in and landed in Lilys lap, giving her a letter. She opened it and Sirius read it behind her shoulder. Miss Evans and Mr. Black, Please come down to my office ASAP. The password is Transfiguration. Albus Dumbledorr  
  
Lily walked towards the Transfiguration classroom with Sirius. She stepped into the office after saying the password and looked around. Dumbledor was sitting at his desk. He waved them over and they sat in two large black chairs. "I know about your...relationship...and thats what this is about." He said.Lily looked worried, but Sirius looked normal. "Ok."She said, shaking slightly. "Its not meant to be." Dumbledor said simply. "What do...you mean?" Sirius asked, sitting forward. "Lily, your destiny is...to marry someone else."He wouldnt tell who, in case Sirius went into rage. "What? But, how can you know that? For sure."Lily asked. "Theres a proficy. It states that a child born of a stag and a flower, will be given a certain kind of power. The child will get this when tragedy strikes and the child will strike down all that is evil." He said, reading from a peice of parchment. Sirius had a look of anger, horror and sadness on his face. 'Born of a stag....James....thats who shes supposed to marry.' Sirius bit his bottom lip and looked at Lily. She was talking to Dumbledor, but Sirius wasnt listening. 'I love her...I love her, She loves me...we love each other' he repeated in his head. "B...but professor..."Lily stuttered. "Im sorry Lily...but...you should head the proficy..." Lily bit her bottom lip and ran out of the office in tears. Sirius stood up and turned to leave. "Im sorry, Mr Black...I know how much you two love each other, but you also need to keep your part in the proficy." "I understand." Sirius kept himself from glaring and left. Lily sat in the common room talking to James. Sirius say this and decided to stay back. "Sirius, come here." Lily said, waving him over. He sat down next to her and looked at James. "Im really sorry." James said, looking very guilty. "Its ok, its not your fault, its the proficy. But, I guess...we have to go along with it."Lily said, looking at the ground. "No, its not worth it. If we dont really love each other than its not going to work." James said, against his own will. Sirius frowned. "But, Dumbledor said that the child will strike down all that is evil." Sirius said. "Do you think he means Lord Voldemort?" Lily asked. "He probably does."Sirius said, nodding. James felt bad for them, but good for himself. He wanted to punch himself for feeling this way, but he decided against it. "Well, for now, you two can stay together. We'll have to wait until after Hogwarts for anything to happen."James said, hoping to make them feel better. The look that Lily gave Sirius however, proved she hated the whole thing. "Could you please....um...leave us...for a few minutes. You can come back, I just...need to talk to Sirius."Lily said, giving James a pleading look. James nodded, stood up and walked over to another side of the common room. "What is it?" Sirius asked. "Im not pregnant."Lily said, unsure of which emotions to feel. Sirius had the same look on his face. "Thats...good right?" "Yes...and no...but mostly...yes." Lily stuttered. "How is it not good?" He asked. "Well, its not good, because if we already had something...or someone...then I couldnt very well leave you and go with James now could I?" Lily asked. Sirius smiled and kissed her cheek. "Why dont we just make the best of what we can have?"He asked. Lily smiled and he put a hand on her cheek. He stared at her for a minute and she giggled. "Your staring."She said. Sirius finally blinked. "Am I?" Sirius asked, with an innocent smile. "Its rude to stare." Lily said, also smiling. "Sorry."Sirius said, then kissed her. Lily leaned towards him and kissed him harder than she ever had. ____________________________________________________________________________ ______ Uh,...please review..? ~~~ELFY~~~ 


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